I told my friends months ago that I'd return to the States in the fall, but I was slow to have a countdown. I knew leaving would be hard and I didn't want to rush things. Was I excited about leaving? No. But in a weird sense I knew I shouldn't stay. After returning from Italy, I thought we'd start our youth clubs again but due to my pending departure we chose to postpone it. Though I would have loved to start the clubs, it was nice to have time for me to go door to door to say goodbye to the kids and their families. I had held off as long as possible actually saying goodbye to people because i had a hard time realizing I was actually leaving. My days were full but not demanding. I enjoyed spending more days in ASHA, our charity shop and with many of our volunteers back in school, the work load was heavier. I spent most evenings seeing different friends from this last year. My last week, I had three dinners with Indian neighbors and their families in the community. It felt weird to say goodbye. Once you’ve lived somewhere you get in the habit of thinking you’ll see them “around” or “next week”.
The reality of leaving hit me in waves, periodically rising suddenly out of seemingly mundane circumstances-taking my last bus ride, walking past certain streets, hearing Indian music, working at our charity shop, or simply having breakfast with my Indian family. During my last Sunday night, these waves came in abundance and the “tide” rose leaving me overwhelmed. I didn’t fight or ride the waves, I was knocked over-such was the loving affirmation of having 80 friends gather to say goodbye, shower me with cards and gifts, and tell me what I mean to them. Many of them welcomed me as a strange immigrant, brought me into their homes, and in time shared their doubts and dreams, hopes and fears. A year ago I did not know anyone in London; now I know so many and saw ongoing growth in many friendships up my last day leaving: it was not easy to leave, I will miss them.
I walked through downtown London the next afternoon and wandered through streets and sites from my first visit, four years ago when I first had an inkling about living here. Now I have and what an adventure it has been.
2 comments:
I certainly do hope you get to come back somehow someday! I myself know that even if I don't end up staying long term, England will always call to me and I'll end up back in some way. Still so much to pray about and it's with excitement that I look forward to where God will lead next down that path that we can only see one step of at a time. I like your last two entries and photos. Hope you are well and finding joy in catching up with family and friends!
hey Ben. -good to see you at recent presbytery meetings and to hear your good report about your time in London. I am one of the two new directors of World Harvest Mission and so we have one more connection! What's next for you?
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